How Do I Feminize My Son?

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 14:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a pregnant soon-be mother of a son on his way. I however really wanted it to be a girl. So I have been doing some research, & it looks like a thing I could try doing is feminizing him to make him at least similar to a girl rather than a boy. As far as I can tell it looks like feminizing boys is actually a good thing. Now, I am not completely sure of that just yet, which is why I am sending you this email, so that I can try & discuss this with you.

After all, I only want what's best for my son. But anyways, while feminine men are not exactly women, I find that feminine men are still more pleasant to be around than men who aren't. They have better hygiene. They smell better; smell like perfume. They are more civilized. They have more class. They are less prone to violence & aggression which makes them safer to be around. They make better husbands because they are men that women can relate to better. & they have a better fashion sense which makes them a better choice for women seen in public.

Let’s face it, there was a time when the masculinity in men was needed for the benefit of the community, I understand that, but now in the 21st Century, with the technology that we have & everything, it’s not very useful for a man to strive to be masculine anymore. In fact, in today’s world the problems it comes with outweigh the benefits, even. I have been doing lots of research about parents feminizing their sons, & I as far as I have researched these parents who have feminized their sons have seen positive results. Which is the reason why, as a pregnant mother of a son that’s almost due, I have been thinking about feminizing him as much as I can by raising him to be just like Mommy’s little girl.

It seems feminists are saying to raise our sons the same way we would raise them if they were daughters. Since you are both, a feminist and a sexologist, I thought you might be a good person to talk to about this. I have already chosen a unisex name, Addison, for him; & if I make up my mind to go forward with this I will start by buying girl clothes, girl toys, and girl bedding for him. After reading this in some website I found; "Balls make us Fight. Fight makes the Man. But You won't Fight. You don't have Balls. You're not a Man.”

Taking that into consideration; maybe I truly don’t want him to be a man because I don’t want my Poopykins to even be sent on a road where the possibility might be that he would become some violent, aggressive brute. I’d rather he grow up to be a “sissy” than one of those men who get thrown in prison for things like breaking another man’s back in a bar fight or one of those men who you have to be cautious or fearful of. Now, I know most men are not like that, but I don't want to raise my son in a way that might let him turn out that way, which is why I want to feminize him just to make sure. Most people prefer to be in the company of men who don't know how to fight than men who do, anyways.

From what I’ve researched, feminized sons have better bonds between their mothers. They like to do more things together with their mothers. They are much more affectionate. They are more docile & friendly, which is a huge plus. They are more civilized. They are more hygienic & don’t go & get themselves all covered in dirt & track dirt all over the house & onto everything they touch. They sit down to urinate, which means no piss all over the toilet & on the floor around it. They are less wild & out of control full of energy, which makes them easier to manage. They are more behaved than boys who are not feminine. They are less likely to get into fights with other kids. They are less likely to become trouble makers like some boys are. They are less likely to become sexual, which means less likely to become engaged in affairs & less likely to masturbate due to disregard for their penises. It’s also been shown that feminized boys tend to do better in school than their more masculine counterparts.

As far as I can tell I think that feminizing my son would be quite beneficial not just for me but for him, too, & civilization. This is the 21st Century, not ancient Greece. Men don’t need to be tough, aggressive fighters anymore. Civilization is evolving, & I believe that men becoming more feminine would be a step up for society. I mean, for instance, take a look at how shitty the patriarchal countries are, like Iran. Then take a look at the more matriarchal societies, such as Sweden, & see how much better off they are & how much better they are thriving! A thing that I can for sure say would be beneficial about the feminization of men is that there would be no more war.

I would like to point out that war caused by masculine aggression has killed FAR more people than even the spread of HIV & all other diseases caused by anal sex! I don't ever want my son to be killed in a war! & feminizing him will make it so that could never happen. I understand that if a society is under attack by another that it is in their best interest to fight against it, but my whole point is that if vast majority men lost their fighting spirit there wouldn't even be societies attacking other societies to begin with!

If men of this world were feminized, we wouldn't even need soldiers because there wouldn't be any men out there plotting to attack other societies. In that case, feminizing men would save many lives! There'd be no more war or terrorism. It really pisses me off that my tax money goes to pay for a war because of men who want to fight & go get each other killed & destroy each other’s towns & villages with their women & children, instead of it actually going to things useful to the community. I’ll be glad the day men of this world become feminine enough to no longer want to go & start wars anymore! Considering the vast majority of violent crime is perpetrated by men, if men of this world were feminized enough & became more like women, there would be a lot less violence in this world, & self-defense wouldn't even need to be a big issue!

Now, here's another thing that concerns me about doing this, will this really work enough that he will be close enough to being like a girl that suppose if someone were to first meet him, they would think he is a girl? I found a website that has an article that goes into depth on how to do this:

Anyways, I'm going to copy and paste it here:

"Some Mothers and other women ask the Question...How do I get my guys to be more Feminine? Their Reasons could be Abusive husband, an Unruly Male Child, Unchecked "Macho" Behaviours from their Testosterone. Whatever. As a man that has always been Feminine Oriented, I was more into Feminizing myself, but it sure would have been Nice to have someone Encourage me and Guide me on the Road to Femininity!

A Friend of mine sent me the following E-mail, and asked me to publish it on the Blog. It deals with the Subject of How to Feminize a Male. You might Agree with what he might Disagree. The Purpose of this Forum is to bring different Perspectives on the Trends of Male Femininity and Empowerment of Women....Not All Agree, but different Perspectives are Welcomed and Encouraged. I hope you enjoy the Posting from Tony!

I would like to write an article for your blog Titled how to steer your boy down the feminization trail. and ways to demale your son. Demale techniques If you are like many single moms thinking about feminizing your SON or sons, there are many things to consider. Have you been fanning his macho boy ego?? Have you bought him gender specific toys and games? If so it is time to put that to an end. Proper and effective feminization has to move along sort of gradually, unless you are one of the 'Radical Feminists" who have a secret network and can do some very special things with their highly trained girls, to help take out a boys "special boy makers" and leave him no choice but to become a girl. [but that is in radical instances.]

Most normal moms need to look at how their boys are dressed. You can't just get up one day and say, "Randy you are wearing panties today" or no more soccer for you boy, now it is Cheerleading for you. If that was done more boys would be running to the local police or school nurses and complaining of abuse.

Things that moms need to start doing.

Wardrobe changes like slowly bleach shrink and destroy any shirts that have Male or Macho Ego themed brands . No more Nike Adidas, Vans dc shoes Osiris, and generally skater type shirts. Sneakers as well need to be made more unisex. stay away from blue and boy orientated colors. Some of our moms , love to secretly "cook' their boys expensive brand name sneaks in the microwave for a few minutes to make them fall apart when he is wearing them. so then they have a reason for buying him cheap unisex converse all star sneakers or Wall-mart or K-Mart specials.

As if it is 'his' fault for not taking care of his stuff, you will have done wonders to lower his male self esteem and ego. The cheaper and more ugly the sneakers the better. Most of our Demale Society mothers love converse because they can point out in a mall "hey look that girl has the same shoes, they look good on you too. *See how we slowly assimilate the boy to a more feminine outlook? His brand name macho shirts are replaced with more pastel and softer colors. Name brand jeans fade into sweat pants and slacks. As for video games, keep them as non violent as possible. Do not give in to sports titles, fighting games ww2 shooters. as they fan the boys violence. More girl or female orientated games like Tomb Raider, resident evil has z great girl character if you want to let him play some violent game .

Chores: you must insist your boy do and complete chores. Do not let him feel and act like a little prince.

Sports: Most boys love or try sports. While the exercise is a good thing the male bonding is a no no. They do not need strong male role models ,and macho friends if you want a real sissy boy to blossom. Try again "secret' destruction ' maneuvers. If you have a macho skater boy, mess up his skate board, so it falls apart, and looks like he abused it. Baseball gloves go missing, bats break, football equipment dry rots or shrinks.. and can all be made to seem like it is HIS fault.

And when he is bad ground him from sports. Do not let him play if he is bad. But if you have an over sported brat and you want him to become a sissy cheerleader.. you must get him started on male hormone blockers and female hormones.. as young as 9, is ok as the female hormones will stunt his growth and make him more lady like in appearance, and the male hormone blockers will not allow his muscles to get strong like other boys , make him slower and more calm and eventually quit sports, which at that point, you suggest more lady like activities. We use a vitamin replacement trick, putting androcour in a vitamin b12 bottle and female hormones in a vitamin c bottle. They work wonders.

If any moms need dosage help or instructions , our resident friend and feminist leader Dr Lucy will help you. The results of a boy taking this special formula is what more moms need to do and try it is a must. Feminized Men Make the Best Husbands! Women that Take Control of their Relationships with Men and Boys, and Encourage Male Femininity are the Pioneers of the Future!"

So If you have any advice that wasn't mentioned in the article above or about anything that you might think would not work that was mentioned above, or if whether this could even work or not, or if this would even be healthy for him, or a good idea or not, I would be interested in your advice or feedback.

Dear G,

Yours is one of the strangest emails I've ever received. It reads a bit like a science fiction story or a movie. It would be illegal to give a boy child hormones so he could become a girl unless he insisted he was a girl. This happens when a boy or girl believes they belong to the opposite gender and they become Transsexuals. That said, I do believe how most mother raise their sons as Little Princes waiting on them hand and foot creates a lot of unnecessary macho men.

Maybe you'll get lucky and give birth to a gay son. However, no hormones for him unless he requests a sex change. Otherwise with you approach, he might turn out to be a bigger monster or a man who hates women and makes them all suffer for it. Treating him as a Mother's boy in your actions might work but forget all that destructive crap of damaging his toys. Many liberated moms today do not color code clothes and buy gender neutral toys. Just love him and let him develop naturally while giving him a lot of affection. I repeat no hormones unless he wants to become the opposite sex.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Mon, 09/17/2012 - 17:26
Jake E

Dear G your very very anxious. There are many kinds of masculine as there are many kinds of feminine. Raise your son to ID as a gentleman and be a nice person yourself as an example for him to follow. The fear of being physically assaulted by other men is the source of nearly all male dickish behaviour, as that fear will make him go with the brutish crowd. Getting him to do judo from an early age will teach him to be physically confident and secure and not afraid so he can be himself.  It makes girls more confident too and judo teaches people of both sexes to be peaceful and use their skills defensively or to assist people who are helpless. Women can be assholes too (Sarah Palin?) so just raise your kids to be confident and peaceful (the teachings of judo) and to be nice people from your well balanced discipline  and example. Parenting isn't easy so seek good advice all the way through as you have here and you'll learn and that should ease your anxiety.  Good luck. 

Forced Compliance from by Social Influence, Gender Bias

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 20:53

This letter seems suggest similar things to what things men and society would do in the dark ages and early victorian era to control women. Not let women ride bicycles or play rough games, only give little girls dolls to play with, teach children from an early age that to be obedient and submissive was the proper way BUT giving boys more freedoms as they matured, while less freedoms to girls, for example.  

If you teach a child morals, not utter submissiveness, from an early age- they will become adults capable of making smart decisions. Not aggressive tyrants hellbent on proving that they are right (when if thought out with a clear head, it would only cause harm). This applies to all genders.

Teaching a child what to think and not how to think leads to a mind uncapable of innovation and change- a blatant, "This is wrong, because I have said so. I don't care what you have to say." 

Also, in the letter, G mentioned less masturbation as a pro of feminization. Uh, what? Am I not on

I am a feminist and a fan of

Tue, 09/18/2012 - 01:13
LilithLand (not verified)

I am a feminist and a fan of letting people be themselves. I see nothing wrong with a masculine woman and a feminine man or vice versa. And I find masculine men sexually appealing by the way. With that being said, I think this email is really fucked up. Male hormone blockers, "demaleing", this is horrible. And very anti-male. If someone chooses to change their gender, that is their right as an adult. But to do this to a child without their consent is abuse. And I agree with Olgapot, this smacks of the kind of control women have had to deal with throughout history. 
I think this mother needs to let her son be what he is. Give him dolls and trucks and let him make up his mind. Don't make it up for him. And if he is masculine, then let him be himself and raise him to be the best masculine guy around. And if he is more feminine, that's good to. But it should be the kid's choice.

Really? You need to find another focus in your life

Tue, 09/18/2012 - 01:51

The post was like "science fiction" I hope you have a happy, healthy child that with the support of a loving family grows into a happy, healthy, respectful adult. Children learn from their surroundings, give them opportunities to possess knowledge and BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL in your own life.

Truth or troll?

Tue, 09/18/2012 - 04:55

While reading this piece, I have been debating with myself whether it was really written by a pregnant woman, or whether it might be the most elaborate troll I’ve ever seen. I’m leaning towards the troll theory. If this piece was written by an expectant woman who has already rejected her son before he’s even made it into the world, it’s terribly sad. She needs help, and ought to seriously consider giving him up for adoption to a family who can love him for who he is. If this is some sort of demented practical joke (say by university students with too much time on their hands), the author is still in need of help. I hope she/he gets it, and the sooner the better. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

this sickens me, trying to

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 14:02

this sickens me, trying to force a kid into an identity!!!

When politically correct runs amok

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 09:03

Uh,  lets get one thing straight.  As a real male parent of a real boy,  you don't sit down with a latte and plan their life for them over lunch,  which is what this appears to be.  Gawd,  what a control freak.   Your child is going to be whoever he is going to be.  No matter what you want.  You have to RELATE to your child and LOVE him not MANUFACTURE him.   Relate to him.  Get back to us in 10 years and tell us all your grandiose plans for changing your child.  Hell,  you don't even know him yet.  What's going to happen if you can't get him to put the toilet seat down,  do you put him up for adoption?   In the end, you'll probably settle for him putting his toys away any more than care WHAT toys he plays with.  Good Gawd.  I think mommy needs help.
In fairness,  of course you can give your child good values.  Good values don't support meanness, abuse,  little princes,  or fear of sharing feelings.  These things don't always directly have anything to do with gender.  There are gender differences,  but there are also those who genderize everything and forget that our genitals develop the exact same way.  We are all human.
As to your thoughts on war,  we forget that modern warfare is more of a "submit and follow orders" thing not a "I am going to do what my mommy taught me" thing.  In government cowardice is rewarded and much easier to work with than courage.  What you teach him will matter,  but he needs to be able to actually choose peace over war,  and for most of us who are not president,  that is a problem.  So if enough of us choose jail over war,  it might get through,  but it is not really much of a choice.  In fact, I've often wondered if in the old days,  when parents "owned" their sons and daughters,  the appeal for war would have to be put to the parents.  Children were farm slaves owned by the parents. It was more like asking a large manufacturer to give up its work force.  Even government had to ask politely then.  Nowadays,  once your kids get emancipated it's all peer pressure and goverment propaganda that gets most boys to join up. The parents don't have a say now.  Kind of an interesting change in society.  So,  since your kids are forced to be taken anyway,  you can see why most parents,  conservative or otherwise,  take a "must support the troops" view.  As a parent,  you "support the troops" with a gun to your head.  It either that or a funeral.  See how clever the government is.  They already have your valuable cannon-fodder.  So,  "support the troops".  But if your kid can fix that,  I wouldn't care if he left the seat up every time.  But I am a guy.

I hope this is a troll

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 12:48

This is child cruelty. Just let your son be.


Thu, 09/20/2012 - 14:00

I really think it is a troll. The more I read it, the more it seemed inauthentic and deliberately designed to be as outrageous as possible.

I didn't bother reading it

Thu, 09/20/2012 - 14:24
Jake E

I didn't bother reading it all it's so long, but I tend to a agree. 

Most definitely a troll

Sat, 09/22/2012 - 23:21
Liandra Dahl (not verified)

I think this person is a total fabrication of a disturbed mind. I also think the same person who wrote this email created the blog they've linked to. I think they're probably in need of some good psychiatric help. 


Sun, 09/23/2012 - 09:40

In general, I applaud the fact that we can express just about any thought or point of view on Dodsona and Ross, without fear of censorship. However, in the case of this letter, be it a troll or not, it could have been censored. I don't think it is sincere, I think it is just someone seeking attention; in either case,  I don't think the writer of this epistle should enjoy all the attention that he/she has gotten here.

so disturbing

Sun, 09/23/2012 - 14:29
bluecar (not verified)

I actually felt physically sick after reading this.  Everybody here is saying it's just a troll; I hope so, but still -- you guys know this stuff does happen sometimes, right?  The writer Ernest Hemingway is one example: his mom dressed him as a girl when he was a kid and he spent the rest of his life trying to be the most macho guy ever, before he finally blew out his brains with a shotgun.  So much for feminization.  There was also a story like this a few years back in Texas -- again, a mom who really wanted a girl decided to pretend her son was a girl, she had everybody fooled, and it wasn't discovered till he was 10 years old or so:  the state put the kid in foster homes and put her in prison for abuse; he ended up alright, but only after many years of pain and counseling.  So, "G," it's seriously wrong to feminize boys, or to masculinize girls -- boys and girls are both wonderful in their own ways, and if you can't accept the gift that nature is giving you, please just give your child up for adoption.

All baby boys were dressed as girls in 1899

Sun, 09/23/2012 - 17:33
Jake E

Earnest hemmingway was no exeption, and by 1905 we see him on the far right of this photo  dressed as a boy

I also felt physically ill- I

Sun, 09/23/2012 - 21:12

I also felt physically ill- I started pacing up and down the room and almost had to restrain myself against the urge of banging my head against a wall. But I didn't want to mention it in my original respose, as not to colour the content.

Let Boys be Boys

Wed, 02/05/2014 - 17:35
Luke (not verified)

Nuff said.

I think this is very scary.

Wed, 03/12/2014 - 17:29
Chillswil (not verified)

I think this is very scary. If you can't accept that you are pregnant with a boy, than you are no better than what you hope to eradicate.. Let him make his own decisions on who and what he wants to be. You cannot e doctrinaire him with this hate for man and what makes do. If you change him, i have a problem with it, but if he decides it for himself to become more feminine it is fine. Dont try to change him just because of his sex. You should try to change to suit what he wants.

We Need To Feminize Boys! No "Let Boys Be Boys" Bullshit!

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 01:25
Iandria (not verified)

This womon is a true visionary! You know, for a website that is supposed to be feminist-positive I'm rather miffed at the comments here. I think that just "letting boys be boys" is exactly the problem. If we ever want to get to that feminist utopia we all dream of, we need to change males to get there! If it means changing masculine boys' identities to feminine, drugging them up, and having them do the female role, then so be it. If it sounds extreme to you, tough! It's what has to be done if we want to make this world a better place for wimmin. By changing men into women(woo-men). Otherwise, men are going to keep us down and they always will like they always have!
You moderate feminists, if you want change, you're going to have to stop diddle-dallying with our issues, and start making some progress here. You are just keeping us behind by going soft on these issues. Now, I have no problem with masculine wimmin or masculine gender queers or feminine men for that matter, but masculine cis males are the root source of patriarchy which is what wimmins' oppression stems from, and we need to do something about these pricks. Seriously! We can't go soft on men and just let them be to keep doing what they do if we want to start seeing some progressive change. I want to see some progress within the wimmins' movement in my lifetime. I feel like we haven't gotten much further over the past few decades and I feel like it's because we are going too soft on men by just letting them continue to perpetrate their oppressive nature on wimmin. We NEED to change them! If enough moms follow suit with what this mother is doing and enough masculine boys are feminized, we would finally eliminate patriarchy once and for all! This might actually make the mark in the history of mankind when wimmin will finally be free from the shackles of patriarchy once and for all! This could be it, folks. I know it may sound extreme, but think about it!

man with partial feminine upbringin

Mon, 09/22/2014 - 04:09
urmila (not verified)

I was raised by mother as a girl until I was 5 year old. I have an elder brother who is agout 12 years elder to me. Mother had some complication during her first delivery and was advised to avoid future pregnency.After 11 years, she got a clearence for her doctor, that was when i was concieved. Docrors had told her this will be her last, and she will be operated so that she cannot even try to have another child.
My Father was an authoratarian man, and was quite insensitive. My brother was goin on his father's way and was a spoiled brat always trying to his way, and quite quqrrelsome too. My mother wanted to have a gentle well behaved girl very badly as her second child. and i believe, she was taking some herbal medicines,which was supposed to help her in that and when she was told it was a boy again, she was crestfallen and even to take me in her arms or feed me. After quite bit of persuation and few harsh words from father, she relented. But at that time itself she gecided that she will raise me as a girl.
I always wore cute little dress mostly in pink or pastel colors had my ears pierced when i was 2 and wore ear rings or studs My hairs was allowed to grow and was braided most of the time and decorated with flowers. She always asked me play with girls and we were playing some tradional girly games in addition to plying home, where i always was either a mother or daughter. and she used to rake me out to the temple and to the neibhours, especially during festival day with new silk dresses. to keep my skin soft and to have good complesion, she used to ge bath after saoking my skin with oil mised with termuric poder and henna
All that had to stop when i was 5 since i had start schooling. Both myself and mother were sad when my tresses were cut and given a boy cut and had start wearing shorts and shirts, But my mother, unknown to others, used to have me in panties and camisoles under my boy's clothes until i was 10. Un school i avoide out dooe games like football. my mother had arranged for  both classical music and barathanatyam dance teachers ro train me, so that i acuire the feminine grace .
She didnot gave me any hormone blockers. but my food is to have fenugreek and flak seed powder mixed with wheatflour, before frying rotis. I believe all that has made me a good man, little shy perhaps I am married and have 2 kids, and i am not sexually very agressive. mywife is happy that i am sensitive and readily share household duties.
I dont know what your readers think about this and am curious to know their opinion/

What is wrong with you people?

Tue, 06/30/2015 - 22:52
Floored. (not verified)

This is disgusting. Men play an important role in society. This is not visionary. this is SICK mental illness. you people should be ashamed of yourselfs. and god help that poor baby boy that you mentally and physically abuse his entire life. 

What Is Wrong With You?

Sun, 07/26/2015 - 01:54
Iandria E (not verified)

"Men play an important role in society."

Yeah, you mean like hog all the top roles from wimmin.

"and god help that poor baby boy that you mentally and physically abuse his entire life.

Um, if you had actually read the whole thing you would have read about how this would actually be helping boys.

Awful lot of text for a

Mon, 07/27/2015 - 07:48
Unlabeled (not verified)

Awful lot of text for a 'troll' posting. I think it's real thus my responding to it.

Denmark consistently scores as the happiest country on Earth. And reading more about it, is described as a very feminine-society. Men are expressive with their feelings and not stigmatized for it. So I htink there's conisderable credence to raising boys more feminine than our culture's standard gender roles and stereotypes.

That said, doing more than say Mrs. Rooselveldt Senior and dressing the young Franklin as a girl is a bridge too far. While it's true men have been responsible for all the wars abd misery throughout human history, and reversing the dominance to women isn't the worst idea ever, forcing a child to be more womanly with hormone blockers is literally chemical castration. I'd be very shocked if any doctor actually made those meds available for someone that wasn't self-identifying as transsexual.

Many ways to raise kids to be more positive and feminine not involving greater risks for cancer as with opposite-sex hormone therapy. First, don't raise children with religion unless you're trying to raise an atheist - every atheist ever was raised overly religious. Can't not believe in God if you have no earthly idea what that is.

Second, don't conform to gender stereotypes. Blue for boys, pink for girls for starters. Make sure they grow up with pet dogs and cats. Nearly every serial murderer grew up sans pets so never developed their empathy for living things. Can't emphasize this one enough, pets are everything.

Be mindful of how you speak and describe your hopes for him. Avoid phrases like, "Someday you'll fall in love with a beautiful woman and get married and have a family." That's the model that's gotten us all screwed up in the first place. Instead, try like, "Someday you'll find something or someone that makes you happy and it'll fill your whole life." 'Something' being a career or the like, not some-thing as in a romantic involvement (though we'll likely have androids before too long, prototypes already existing.) :)

Don't force things on your children. Guide them to good choices and away from bad ones, but don't impose or force unless you wanna raise a Norman Bates.

What Needs To Be Done If We Truly Want Progressive Change!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 11:51
Iandria E (not verified)

"And reading more about it, is described as a very feminine-society. Men are expressive with their feelings and not stigmatized for it."

Um, well actually men expressing "mens' feelings" isn't expressing femininity at all. It is what it is; "mens' feelings". But if you are saying what I think you mean by that that we need to teach boys that a lot of their personal emotions are not emotions that they would feel if they were real boys by using the same false stigma that real men don't have "feelings" but instead of forcing boys to adhere to it like what has been done traditionally we tell them that it's OK for them to have those emotions BUT that they are not real boys because they have those "feelings" and that that is perfectly OK or even preferable that they are not real boys. You see where I'm going with this? We use the same stigma but use it to psychologically disparage their sense of masculinity instead of making them adopt this traditional role that, by the way, isn't even derived from natural musculinity in of itself but an artificial construct that has been imposed upon boys by society at large.

"That said, doing more than say Mrs. Roosevelt Senior dressing the young Franklin as a girl is a bridge too far."

What are you? A fucking derelict?! Too fucking coward for REAL progressive change, are you?

"forcing a child to be more womanly with hormone blockers is literally chemical castration." 

Um, duuuuuhhhhhh! Isn't that the whole fucking point here? Just slapping boys in a dress and make-up and telling them that they think like girls while letting their natural male hormones flow through them taking over, masculinizing them, is far from enough. All's you are going to get with that is silly little boys in drag. If want to actually feminize them you have to involve physical as well as the psychological manipulations if you want to accomplish this successfully. The drugs are a vital part of the feminization process that can't just be left out if you want this to be anything of a remote success.

"I'd be very shocked if any doctor actually made those meds available for someone that wasn't self-identifying as transsexual."

There's lots of feminist doctors who would be delighted in helping take part in feminizing a son for his feminist parents. I don't think you would need to look too hard to find a willing doctor. After all, lots of doctors are pill pushing money whores who will do just about anything for some more cash. In fact, for some of these drugs I don't think a written prescription is needed for obtaining them. Getting your hands on these wonder drugs isn't as hard as it looks.

"Many ways to raise kids to be more positive and feminine not involving greater risks for cancer as with opposite-sex hormone therapy."

Oh, it doesn't up the chances for getting cancer that much. Flimsy excuse there, derelict.

"Don't force things on your children. Guide them to good choices and away from bad ones, but don't impose or force unless you wanna raise a Norman Bates."

In the email on this post it mentions how a parent is supposed to be secretive and discreet about the feminization process of their son. The boy is supposed to not even be aware of it that his mother is trying to feminize him. That's the part that Betty missed when she said she thought this would make that womon's son hate wimmin for his feminization. He's not even supposed to know it's happening because of his mother. This is also part of the very trick for getting this to work for the boys in a psychological way, too. When he starts to notice the physical changes of himself, you are supposed to tell him that he is just naturally transitioning into a girl to even further convince him that he is not a real boy and never was. See how this works?


Tue, 08/04/2015 - 04:24

This thread creates a couple of problems.

First there is the very clear risk that it's a troll posting. It might just be a load of outlandish nonsense trying to elicit an extreme response from Betty in order to discredit her and this website. Since Betty's response is pretty straightforward and sensible " Just love him and let him develop naturally while giving him a lot of affection" it doesn't seem to work very well at this level. Though I noticed a number of posts on this thread that just seem happy to vent their outrage at "you people" so maybe this thread just creates a space for that kind of response ie. trolls or people unable or willing to wade through the very long post and reach Betty's response.

Secondly, even assuming the post is "real" it is incomplete. It was written a long time ago in 2012 by a woman speculating prior to the birth of her first child and as such, it's half-way believable. Before I had my kids, I thought all sorts of wild and wonderful thoughts which might well have read like the manifesto of a mad woman (though not this woman)  if I'd been daft enough to write them down and post them onto a website.

Women expecting their first child are bonkers for good reasons. Partly because the whole process is mad. Trying to imagine pushing something the size of a watermelon out of your vagina, whilst being assured that this is going to be a hugely spiritual and uplifting experience is crazy. Trying to stay sane whilst coping with the contradictory advice that everyone feels obliged to "share" is tricky.

And ofcourse whatever your mad thoughts before your child arrives, it all goes out of the window once they're here because children are not blank slates to be written upon. Children arrive with their own personalities, their own sense of self and the most that a parent can do is polish the corners, insist on manners and help them make the best of who they already are.

But perhaps the biggest problem with the thread is the underlying assumption that has been made that feminine = human = civilised. The idea is found in the original post and many of the responses - it is a corrosive idea, divisive, unhelpful and unture.

Our ideas about what it means to be masculine or feminine are largely social constructs, and change over time and by place.

So the positive "feminine" attributes listed in the second para of the post, "...better hygiene...smell better; smell like perfume... more civilized..more class... a better fashion sense" would all be considered male attributes during the Regency period (1810-20s).

And even now there are obviously considerable cultural variations around the world as to what it means to be masculine or feminine. It is clear that in some countries masculine is self-defined to include caring, hands-on fatherhood, to require paternity leave when a child is born etc. Is this what the original post means by "..matriarchal societies, such as Sweden"?

Most of the people I know from Nordic countries including Sweden would consider it ridiculous to hear their countries described as "matriarchal". They would consider it ridiculous because political and especially financial corporate power is quite clearly still concentrated in male hands, though moves towards parity are evident. They would consider it ridiculous because only the paranoid could consider small moves towards fairness and equality as a move towards female dominance or matriarchy.

It seems clear that around the world we have a real problem with male violence, a problem for women but also for men who tend to be the majority victims as well as perpetrators of male violence. This does not mean that there is a problem being born male. Nor does it mean that being "feminine" is better or easier than being "masculine". Insisting on difference, on conforming to socially ascribed norms rather than letting people grow up to be who they are and who they want is a problem. We need more acceptance of individuals rather than insisting on conformity to masculine or feminine ideals.

Most men (just like most women) grow up to be perfectly reasonable human beings. It seems reasonable for parents to try to bring up their kids to be reasonably human. No one wants to be the mother of a mass-murderer, a rapist or a misogynistic jerk. We try our best. We make mistakes, hopefully not big ones and mostly it works out. We love our children, boys and girls.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to hear from the original woman posting to find out what happened next once her child arrived?

Cause and Effect

Sat, 10/03/2015 - 23:24
D.L.M. (not verified)

Without having to detail much of the events in my life to explain my point of view, I will admit what and who I am, which I know to be true about myself as a human being. 
Though I'm a male, I consider myself bi-gender. I have a very strong feminine side as far as my outlook on life and how I think about my feelings, emotions and thoughts. My masculine side is only expressed in public. I only dress as a male now as I faced consistent ridicule from family and peers in my past for cross dressing. I still desire to dress up, but now at the age of 38 and not having the money to afford women's clothes (or even men's clothes), knowing that I'll never be the passible, beautiful young girl that I want to be, and always living with a roommate, I dare not try to do what my instincts tell me to do. 
I have strong male tendencies as far as how I walk, talk, and behave in public. I burp and fart without fear and laugh about it. I like video games and I get out my frustrations by playing something violent, and being as vicious with it as possible. But at many times when I think about my independent desires of what is deeper inside, I know that I'm more female than male. I constantly struggle to find my identity in what I want for my life. If I had the life situation and money to be transgender and dress up and fully express my femininity, I would do so in a heartbeat.
At the same time, I'm only sexually attracted to girls. I love their physical beauty and their charming, delightful, thoughtful and gentle personalities. The macho male behaviors that I see in men anger me to where I can't even stand myself and my own typical male behaviors that I have earned through nearly 4 decades of living as a male. I don't know what women find attractive in males. Physically, personally, emotionally... All of it is disgusting. Even sexually, there are things that can pleasure a woman much better than a man can. Only when I fantasize quietly, alone in my room can I feel myself as I am. I'm not in the closet. I'm in a footlocker. I don't even have room to breathe.
If I could meet a woman that would feminize me and dress me up, I would love it. But finding one is the hard part. Women don't want a 220 lb, 38 year old man who receives disability benefits from a military combat wound. I walk with a cane. I haven't had a date in 16 years. The situation, and thus myself is pathetic, sad and lonely. 
In the case of forcing a transgender life on a child, especially without their knowing that they are the opposite gender you are raising them as, I have mixed feelings about it. I know I've had odd dreams about it happening somewhere, and certainly it would be interesting as a science experiment, but children should not be used for science experiments any more than animals should be. It's cruel and should not be done in any way, shape or form.
I know that centuries ago, many children were raised as girls by the mothers until they turned a certain age of awareness, like around 8 to 10 years old, just before puberty kicked in. Yet testosterone does what it does to the male body whether the parent or the individual going through puberty likes it or not. After all, we all start in the womb as female, due to the X cromosone present in everyone. XX for female, XY for males. Thus, males are half female, even though most won't admit it, or they will hate you for saying so. The testosterone starts without reason and without warning and when that Y cromosome rears its ugly head, there is very little you can do to stop it. 
I did read a medical article that they have the technology now to "force" a specific gender on a fetus while still in the womb. It has to be done at an early stage to either forcefully prevent testosterone for families who strictly want a girl or forcefully induce it for those who want a boy. I cannot recall where I read it, but I'm sure a google search may bring you to it somehow. Either that, or if you are pregnant, talk to your doctor about this proceedure. It will certainly prevent you from having to give birth to an unwanted boy and raise him as a girl, which may or may not work out the way you want it to once the child starts developing their adult personalities. 
There is always a risk, no matter what you do in life. You succeed or you fail. Is it right or wrong to do a certain thing? Who is to say? The government? Society? Religion? I say none of the above applies in actions that determine a person's lifestyle, except for what the individual living that life believes is right for them. We cannot prevent people from doing something that they know that they need or want to do with their lives. We cannot force people to do something we want them to do against their will. That's abuse and Communism.
We all raise our children differently. Some spank their kids, while others, like myself, believe spanking is barbaric and abusive. Some are raised strictly religiously, while others are raised in a religion but not being strict about it, and others are raised to be without religion. Some are rich, some are poor. Some have both parents, or a single parent, or living with an extended family member, family trustees, adopted parents or an ever-growing list of different foster parents. Each one unique with a different set of rules, regulations, discipline methods and expressing their feelings, thoughts, wishes and instructions to their children.
I know plenty of families who raise their daughters as boys. It happens more than you think. But we live in a society that has a viciously cruel double-standard. Girls can be any kind of person that they want to be these days, being able to express more fashion choices and lifestyle choices than males can. The term "tomboy" is all but abandoned now because athletic females are extremely common, and very preferred by males for girlfriends because of their very attractive bodies and interest in male activities such as sports and action movies. For them, it is not wrong to be a woman and have masculine behaviors and interests. But as soon as a male puts on a dress and wants to go to the spa for a facial and manicure, he's labeled a sissy, pansy and freak by everyone around him, even by those who claim to support the lifestyle, but are afraid to do so in public in fear of their ownselves being ridiculed. 
What really needs to be done is the forced feminization of all men, especially young children. Not to the point of hormones for a child unless they choose to take them, but a feminine, caring and loving upbringing, with the parents respecting each other enough - and also the child enough - to not argue over trivial matters so the child is not always in the center of aggression and conflict. This will help the child learn to have a non-violent attitude, and learn what true love is all about. It can be done to make men more gentle without having to resort to forcefully demeaning a boy who is growing masculine traits, and then putting him in a dress for punishment or entertainment for the parent. This will only anger the child and rebel against the parents in adolescence and become estranged from them during adulthood, which was the case with me. I haven't talked to anyone in my family since 2003, and I'm glad to be free from their chaotic and hellish lifestyle.
If you want a girl, either adopt a girl or have that medical procedure while the child is still a fetus. Don't force it on them as a child or adolescent, because, even though it may seem like fun to you, it probably will not be fun for the child once they learn the difference between a boy and a girl. Your children have the right to live a sexual lifestyle and gender role that they are comfortable with. They are not your toys or little experiments. If they begin to live a lifestyle that society deems is taboo, accept your child as they are and support them with all the love in your heart. A good child is the result of good parenting. If a kid ends up crazy and in prison or becomes the anti-Christ, it's most likely the parent's fault for not being a good parent. 

You seem to be forgetting one thing

Sat, 04/09/2016 - 06:14
Wezlei (not verified)

In your little progressive plan to ensure global nirvana.  I notice that you like to point to nordic countries. . Those same nordic countries are nearing a point where they will be overran by muslims who don't share your progressive dream of a more "feminine male"  In fact, this will set all human rights back hundreds of years. . 

Need I remind you that Islam allows slavery, the killing of infidels, forced conversions to Islam, men having 4 wives, the beating of women is freely allowed, women are not allowed to leave the home without a male relative, womens testamony is only worth one forth of that of a man, her inheretance is one forth of a mans, lets not forget the Hijab . . Divorce and custody of children totally at the leasure of men, and men can divorce a woman simply by saying "I divorce you" three times. . .

So. . who is going to fight for your country? Who is going to stop that nasty Muslim onslaught?  Wimmen?  Feminists?  America?  Not likely. . . Your feminized men "Don't want to fight" remember?  So now you have a problem. . . Someone elses version of reality is about to be forced upon you. . and your own political correctness and progressiveness prohibits doing anything abou it. . .

To see how bad it can get, here is an interesting article about a semi male politician, who was raped by a somaili immigrant. . (sodimized) and he feels worse for the rapist than about his getitng raped. . . Is this the level of feminism you want?

Goodluck, because it will not be that way for long . . get ready for muslim domination. 

Trolls ticking the boxes

Sun, 04/10/2016 - 08:12


The original post was ofcourse most likely a spoof by someone long gone and not reading, so this is nothing to do with the original but rather to reply to yours -

Sweden is the nordic country with most immigrants at 20% of the population. Of this 20% people born overseas the vast majority (70%) are from other nordic countries and the rest of Europe. 

So the nordic countries are hardly being overrun with just 6% population originating outside of Europe. That's about half the number of immigrants living in the US (13% per migration watch 2013).  Having said that, the recent influx of asylum seekers tends to be settled in urban areas and there can be local problems with welfare access and cultural issues.

It's worth remembering that these asylum seekers are running away from the hard-core Islamist terrorists now set-up in Syria, running away from the extremes you list.

And perhaps also worth bearing in mind that not all feminists are women, not all are liberal, politically correct, or overly progressive and certainly not all of them are pacifists. If you find something posted that ticks all of these labels - it's probably a troll.

I think you begin to worry too soon

Fri, 04/29/2016 - 03:54
Lia913 (not verified)

Don't believe that you begin feminizing your son when he's still unborn. Maybe, you'd better prepare for the baby instead and put your mind on more important thing? The role-playing games can help in yout situation too:

I agree with the original

Thu, 05/26/2016 - 20:52
Conway (not verified)

I agree with the original poster, "G", on this.

Social traditions and gender-based behaviors are just long-accepted ways of doing things that have no real basis in law or nature. We just feel comfortable with prevalent expectations, and find discomfort with those who challenge or flout them.

Most fathers would happily give a daughter a baseball glove and blue jeans, but when a mother gives a son a pink dress and tights, society flinches. That is because we equate femininity with weakness, and we abhor weakness. Since we discourage young males from exploring femininity, those who desire to do so must suppress their desires, which emerge as fetishes in later life. Since we equate fetishes with adult behavior, the cycle of discouraged childhood behavior becoming underground adult naughtiness in later life continues unabated.

Anything that suppresses human flourishing is bad. Anyone who is uncomfortable with his or her identity, clothing, behavior, or sexuality is wasting human potential by either trying to conform, trying to hide, or both. Traditional family values and religious beliefs are all good, so far as they promote social cohesiveness. But when they are used to judge or exclude, (as they so often do with regard to nontraditional family structures and gender-based behavior), they lose all moral authority. They become frameworks of hate.

I think "G" is perfectly correct when she states that there is no clear advantage to raising a traditional dominant, alpha male in today's society. Women perform, competently, every job men used to exclusively do. The job market of the future will lean heavily toward women. And male aggression is demonstrably linked to most of our criminal behavior, wars, and other human suffering.

So I think "G" is exercising her right as a parent to raise her son as feminine, and instill in him the values and promote the behaviors she deems fit.

A respondent made the point that real social change is, by definition, painful. If we weren't willing to absorb pain and discomfort in the quest of widespread social equity, there would have been (as but two recent examples) no civil rights or women's liberation movement. So perhaps a sea change in the values we instill in boys may seem threatening or even fetishistic, but in reality, this is just another step in our societal evolution.

All established cultures view provocative thought and progressive change with suspicion. Those who are not comfortable with the status quo have the right to pursue change.

We are not going to run out of football players anytime soon, so fitting our concepts of gender-based behavior to the natural variations in humanity hardly seems threatening.

How do I feminize my son?

Mon, 07/18/2016 - 16:43
TerribleTed (not verified)

I agree that clothing and shoes should be unisexed as soon as possible.  I like simple Keds and Converse sneakers for boys as well.  Boys see girls wearing them too and feel no advantage or superiority.  Blue, pink and white separations must be ended.  I also like judo and self defense classes where girls have more training and experience.  This gives young males the realization that they are not superior and that young girls can cause pain to them in the same ways that boys often act out against age inferior girls.  This is an extremely valuable lesson.  If a girl defeats a boy in judo or tennis, it is important that the boy is not allowed to brush it over quickly but acknowledges his defeat.  This socialization and conditioning will ensure that boys develop into caring and humble partners equal with girls and not the entitled, brutish bores that many become.  I have been practicing this techniques for a number of years and was happy to see these ideas advocated here.