Do You Feel There's a Double Standard: Male vs Female Bisexuality?

Mon, 06/13/2016 - 07:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty & Carlin:

I have had good heterosexual sex throughout my life. Now, at 50, I'm more interested in ever to have sex with another male. Seems that my most arousing fantasies these days involve sucking a beautiful hard cock and fucking and getting fucked hard by another guy... It's such a hot fantasy!

My question is, do you feel there's a double standard when it comes to male vs female bisexuality. I feel that somehow it's seen as OK for the girls to fuck other girls, but for boys to fuck is just down right gay. Your feedback is respected and appreciated!


Dear B,

Absolutely YES there is a double standard for Bisexuality. Our Macho society sees two women having sex as doubling their pleasure. A Threesome with two women is most straight men's favorite fantasy. BUT when it comes to a dude sucking a cock, then all the Mr. Machos freak the fuck out! I've had this question from many straight men who eventually find they are interested in dicks. Hooray, I say. Finally! It makes sense to me since they have one of their own.

Men are so uptight in so many departments but especially about "masculinity" to the point they will join some fighting force and get their balls shot off just to prove tthey're not cowards. If I were a guy, I'd be a conscientious objector. And if I had a dick, I would obviously be interested in sucking one just out of healthy curiosity to see how it feels.

I felt the same way about going down on a pussy. While I did learn from it and found it enjoyable, I never became a lesbian who lusted for pussy. I admit that I am still a "cock junkie" but I prefer the company of women! My current sex label is Heterosexual-Bisexual-SM Leather Dyke-Professional Masturbating Sexologist!
Until we can experience all the labels we really haven't had a full sexlife! Always follow your interests as life is too short to leave anything out.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.


Wed, 06/15/2016 - 09:32


My teenage daughters are totally bemused by the idea of black and white categories for sex, the idea that they have to be either heterosexual or homosexual. They don't really see why on earth they should be forced to choose between people as prospective partners based on their genitals rather than their personalities.

For my girls, maybe this has something to do with decent SexEd as they were growing up, including the basic idea that most women are more likely to orgasm from clitoral stimulation than penetrative sex. Or maybe that's just the way that the two of them were born.

In the past and (perhaps still for my generation) it seems that bisexuals from either gender were viewed with suspicion within the gay community as well as prejudice from the straight community.

Male homosexuality has traditionally been viewed as a direct challenge to authority, to the "system" with often violent reactions, whereas female homosexuality has been regarded as a titillation for men.

Which is a better reaction, to be physically abused or trivialised? Maybe it depends on whether you're most worried about your physical or mental health.

Maybe the difference in society's reactions to male versus female homosexuality is simply a reflection of the greater importance attributed to men and male transgressions.

As I get older, it seems increasingly impossible to believe in a binary world. Bisexuality seems to make more and more sense. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just fall in love (or lust) with people we like, whoever and whatever their gender?

NLH, your girls have an exceptional

Betty Dodson's picture
Wed, 06/15/2016 - 13:12
Betty Dodson

openminded and informed mother who has always been there to answer all of their questions. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Dr. Betty

Sexual renaissance taking place after 50

Sun, 10/23/2016 - 00:39
Martha B (not verified)

I've been reading about a trend among older men, even beyond retirement. With the relaxing of so many taboos and embrace and acceptance of LGBT, many are discovering a newfound interest and joy masturbating, even mutual masturbating. It's not just a thing among the younger generations any longer. It certainly beats STDs which have also shot up among retirees. You can find that also in the news.

You can discover this if you simply get online on CL and other personnals ads and put in the zipcodes of retirement communities. So many seek str8 what they call masturbation buddies. Online webchat services are also filled with older str8 men masturbating along side each other as they chat.
Many enjoy it so much they confess to masturbation and mutual masturbation a central part of their lifestyle. 
Many need the outlet but are faithful to their spouse, living or deceased, and masturbating with other like-minded men provides mutual support and helps them orgasm without compromising their commitment to their wives. It has nothing to do with gender identity and everything to do with the desire to orgasm stronger and more often. Plain and simple.
In fact, men who allow themselves the experience of mutual masturbation tend to embrace it and masturbate far more often thereafter. They become more copious and frequent ejaculators which I know can mean so much to a man.