Do You Consider Sexual Satisfaction & Sexual Pleasure to be Different Constructs, & Why?

Thu, 10/06/2016 - 17:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hope you're doing great.

This is Fabiola, from Mexico, your bodysex certification student and lifetime admirer. I write you to address a question that often comes to my mind since I started my journey at Bodysex, and as a sex researcher it marked the focus of everything I do.

For the last almost 4 years I've been developing my PhD dissertation on the influence of sexual norms and beliefs over the experience of sexual pleasure. As you can figure, the few research focused on sexual pleasure is not enough but have found a lot about sexual satisfaction, and here goes my question:

Do you consider sexual satisfaction and sexual pleasure to be different constructs, and why? I do.

I've given a lot of thought to this topic as you can imagine and have a huge discussion and questioning going on in my mind about it and several topics related with society, body, and gender, don't want to bother you with my existential wandering, yet... But has been hard for me to explain or organize differences that from my own experience is common sense though literature often mix them.

Maybe there is already an explanation but haven't found it yet and all I can say is that through out my life I felt satisfied with my sexual life but it was not until I experienced Bodysex for the first time that I really understood and felt sexual pleasure.

Any opinion, suggestion or thought about it? I really respect whatever you have to say.

I send all my love to you

Dear Fabiola,

What a wonderful question and inquiry: "through out my life I felt satisfied with my sexual life but it was not until I experienced Bodysex for the first time that I really understood and felt sexual pleasure."

My Mother who had a fourth grade education once said..."You can't miss what you don't know."

So we feel satisfied with a bit of sexual pleasure because that's all we know or have ever experienced.

This is why masturbation is discouraged or prohibited. And this is what the sexual double standard is about: Men are expected to get experience b/c they determine what happens sexually. Meanwhile women are to be; w/o any sexual experience. That means whatever he does is just fine.

However, any woman who has had even a modest number of partners, hopefully one of them knows about the clitoris. And her secret masturbation has hopefully alerted her to the pleasures of her own orgasms.

For me, there's a HUGE difference between "satisfaction" and "pleasure."

Bodysex allows us to have safe groupsex where we are doing ourselves BUT in a social setting of all women. We get feedback from others by watching, hearing and sensing the orgasmic energy of the other women. Followed by verbal feedback. Women who have never considered going for a second orgasm are encouraged to continue inspired by the sexual energy in the room.

Our foreplay is unbeatable....a day of sharing the truth about our sex lives followed by Show & Tell where we view each others vulvas. My demonstrating the rock n roll technique on beautiful Carlin is nothing but pure inspiration to want to masturbate and have your own orgasm!

What a set up! Society will not improve until PLEASURE is honored and seen as necessary for human health in a sane society.

Carry on Dear Fabiola. You're doing GREAT work and I'm honored to have you representing Bodysex.

Big Sister BAD

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Sexual satisfaction and sexual pleasure: different bedfellows

Sat, 10/01/2016 - 08:26
bila kolbe

Querida Fabiola, Thanks for a wonderful inquiry looking at satisfaction and pleasure. One can view satisfaction as meeting or exceeding expectations. For example, I sit down and relax to start an RPM (my acronym for Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation) session which I expect to last a certain time and allow me to edge orgasms while feeling invigorated and euphoric. If I fulfill my expectations, I feel satisfied. And the exercise is highly pleasurable, meaning that my stimulated body produces hormones and sexual energy that register in the pleasure receptors of my brain which my mind interprets as pure delight. Ergo, satisfaction tips more on the cognitive scale while pleasure relies a lot on innate body and mind responses.

This made me think.....

Wed, 10/12/2016 - 04:55
Emmy (not verified)

When i  think about this I find myself associating pleasure with sensuality but not necessarily with satisfaction

When i think of pleasurable sexual experiences they always involve sensuality and some level of connectedness with myself, another or with something universal. There is a wholeness related to pleasure, it is a more complex experience.

When i think of what satisfying sexual experiences mean to me they are what it says on the tin, satisfying. They dont have complexity I associate with pleasure but are physically and mentally fulfilling.

Another way to put it would be to compare the difference between a functional orgasm as a release/distraction and an orgasm that is an opportunity for self love and self expression.

I would argue that satisfaction can be achieved without sensuality but that pleasure is a more complex experience combining satisfaction, sensuality and intensity.