I Have Absolutely No Sex Drive

Thu, 05/11/2017 - 07:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I'm 46 years old and peri-menopausal. I'm also on anti-anxiety meds right now. The result? I have absolutely no sex drive!! And when I try to have sex with my husband, I don't get wet like I used to and my orgasms elude me (and I'm used to having multiple orgasms every time!!). A sure fire way for me to cum is for my hubby to eat my pussy. That's how I have all my orgasms.

For the past many many months, however....NOTHING! I don't self lubricate and I don't cum. Not to mention I don't crave sex anymore (something I always loved!). Is this totally normal for a woman my age? Will I get my drive back once menopause is done?

How long will that take? What's a girl to do?


Dear K, Your loss of sexual interest and the ability to orgasm is due to the anti-depressant med you are taking. See if your doctor will lower the dose of prescribe something else. You might consider alternative healing modalities for the common occurrence of menopause. It happens to all of us and many women deal with the discomforts through diet, yoga or meditation and avoid the meds all together to get your orgasms back.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Humour & lube

Sat, 05/13/2017 - 09:47

No, it's not normal for a woman of your age, or at least does not have to be.
Betty's given good advice to check with your doctor to see what the potential side effects of your medication might be and what the options are around finding some that can leave your sexlife intact. Make sure that your doctor takes your sexdrive seriously and look for a second opinion if you're not happy with their advice.

Decent lubricants are essential and should always be checked to make sure they're compatible with your birthcontrol of choice. Take the pressure off partnersex with a little more self-loving, which may or may not lead to orgasm each time as you start to find your way with your new body. It's a bit like re-discovering your lover part-way through a marriage, persist and your sex life will be better.

Menopause varies from woman to women but everyone suggests it requires a sense of humour, patience and a WTF attitude.  You will get your body back, a little different but still you.