How Do You Get Comfortable Having Sex When Battling Erection Issues?

Tue, 09/26/2017 - 06:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I won't take up too much of your time. I will try my best to present the point of me contacting you. I am 38, married man who has 2 children. My wife is 46. We are eight years apart in ages. Okay, now that we got that away, now comes the hardest part. I have spoken to a marriage counselor for sometime now. I've countless sexual "hang-ups", and was wondering, will they eventually leave? Whenever I viewed pornography, I would masturbate to the oral sex movies. I had at one time, preferred masturbating to actual sex. Because I’m a lousy lover.

When my wife and I do actually have sex, I struggle with my erection by keeping my stamina and hardness throughout the act. Whenever I lose my erection, I merely roll over and become seriously pissed not with my wife but with myself. Because my penis can’t remain hard enough to screw her. My wife and I have tried anal sex. It worked for awhile. Now it doesn’t . As for oral sex, this too has been a problem for me. I’ve never been able to obtain an erection. Weird, right? I can't cum when she performs fellatio. When I perform oral stimulation on my wife, I'm still unable to obtain an erection. When I do obtain an erection, and I’m extremely hard, it hurts like hell, whenever I’m holding off. The pain would start at the head of my penis, down through the shaft and then the pain would move down to my testicles. We’ve tried mutual masturbation together, unfortunately, it never worked for me either. Learning to relax and eliminate distractions is something I have trouble dealing with.

And another thing, I used to get teased when I was a kid for not having a big Penis. For my actual size, I have no idea, I can't read a tape measure. I thought it was 8" but my ex-girlfriend, once told me I was 11". My wife says, she doesn't care what size I am. She's satisfied. I'm not. Learning to appreciate my body as it isn't an easy task. Yes ma'am, I have body insecurities, mostly mine. I'm working on that with counseling. Yes ma'am, sexual issues are no doubt preventing true closeness between my wife and I. Any solutions on how to be more comfortable with sex?



Dear T, At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you need to masturbate more. It matters what size your penis is to YOU. If it's truly 11 inches, it's not easy to pump blood into your monstrous dick. (The average is 5 and a half inches). I advise you to continue with masturbation on a regular basis. It allows you to keep the blood flowing into your penis, expanding the arteries.

Your youthful age is working for you if you have a decent diet and enjoy some kind of sport for fun. And a regular practice of masturbation beyond having partner sex. Even if you use porn, pumping blood into your penis will eventually ease the pain. While I support your counseling, you might want to check in with a good urologist about your penis pain.

Just rehashing your marital problems might not be enough. And count your blessings. Next time you loose your erection during fucking, make an effort to NOT hate yourself. Simply masturbate to an orgasm while your wife is doing something that pleases you. What would that be?

Dr Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Hi T, Sounds like you may be

NOWHARD's picture
Thu, 10/12/2017 - 08:01

Hi T, Sounds like you may be having a small ED problem, but I have had full blown ED and won all without drugs, My main thing I take is a mix of cayenne pepper, turmeric and garlic with a few otrher bits added to that, plus some supplements, everything I take is below in a post I have on pegym, may pay you to visit if you still thing you need more help.
Hi Guys this is my main mix for you blood and take this most days of the week, and as you see its very good for a few other things all researched.

For a start this mix is a great way of cleaning away cholesterol plaque from our blood, and helps control triglycerides and keep your numbers right, and will improve your erections.

The way out and clearing away plaque would be to get on Cayenne Pepper, Turmeric with black pepper and garlic, take this each morning and see how you go.

For each heaped teaspoon of turmeric you add a ¼ teaspoon of ground black pepper, this helps the turmeric to get absorbed into your system better.

The whole mix its all very healthy for you.

You just mix CP and Turmeric and BP 50/50 in olive oil and then mix with tomato paste and thin it with olive oil, at first you just mix this to a heat ( this the heat that CP gives off) that suits you, and over time you can slowly increase the CP and Turmeric.

Take the turmeric and BP as 50% of the 50/50 mix. OK

You take 3 teaspoonful’s each morning first thing, you wash each spoonful down with water, before anything else just after you get up, one thing it will warm you up with this mix, which will also help would be very fine chopped garlic, just do a whole head, chopped fine, and keep in olive oil, with this you add dried parsley, a couple of good desert spoonful’s and mix, you can also add dried oregano, you just add a teaspoonful on top of the CP an turmeric mix, just mix into the top take as said.

The Parsley its very good for the blood and helps keep your Cholesterol down, you can also add some oregano in as well as its good for erections.

Please do keep both jars in the fridge, keeps a lot better that way.
A good tip is do not fill you jar to the top leave about half an inch, its the tomato paste it expands from the olive oil, it then push's red oil out of the jar, and loves to explode out from under the lid as you open it, messy.

Now if you google and read up about all above, there very good for ED, your cholesterol, heart and it clears blocked arteries and veins, good at lowering HBP, prostate, prostatitis, varicocele and RA, garlic is also very good for your blood, so along with the CP and turmeric with BP, your be doing your body the world of good.

Turmeric is a great way of fighting and lowering your triglyceride numbers when you have high cholesterol, and turmeric is also a way of fighting certain cancers.

Turmeric has some fantastic uses, you will be amazed at, like so many herbs and spices do.

Now if your on any kind of blood thinner's don't take the Turmeric as its a blood thinner as well, means your blood will get to thin.

At first you really need to be taken this 3 times a day for 2 weeks then just 2 times once first thing and the second before a meal for 2 weeks, then just once a day first thing in the mornings, great way to start the day.

And yes have had ED now in recovery and do take what is above daily along with other supplements and a hormone.
So do hope this helps you.

Good Luck


PS This really needs a 12 week trail, to see if its going to work for you, if its for RA do increase it up, the stronger it is the better it works for you.

Don’t forget to up the amount of CP and turmeric as you go on.

Now for me, these days as its almost around 7 years being on this mix, I do a standard mix which has 4 rounded desert spoons of cayenne pepper and turmeric in it, and l mixed up, then daily I put some more olive oil on the top, add the 1/4 teaspoon of black pepper then a heaped teaspoon of CP and the same of turmeric add on the heaped teaspoon of garlic and mix this in the top layer and I now take 4 teaspoons of the mix, some days it can get me but most days I'm ok
as for supplements its L-Arginine Tribulus, L-Carnitine, DHEA and just some daily vits, but I do wash them down with a boric acid mix, boric acid has the tag of being the poor mans Viagra, a standard mix is a 1/4 teaspoon in a litre of water and drink through the day, I mix at a bit stronger as I only take it first thing in the mornings, but as they say every little helps .

Be warned some days my mix will make your stools a bit on the lose side, it does me, but I do not worry over it.

The last piece of info is I do have ground down green tea, with ground down natural Tribulus which I can buy here in Greece I can make a teapot last 2 days by just adding some extra, then have 2 days on black tea, I drink both with honey and lemon two more things that are very good for your blood, of a night I have 2 squares of 70% bark chocolate, something else that's so good for your blood, I think like I have said above get your blood working for you, and your about 2/3 of the way to getting some really good erections.

I don't think this is in here but have warn a cock ring 24/7 just after things was getting better just to give that extra hardness, I have a Hardwear Ice from my hardwear, its a Pyrex full package ring, great to wear.

I get good nocturnal erections that wake me up, and lots of morning woods not bad for a guy who is now 70 and still enjoying my sex life, just hope it works for you T.