Is It Too Late to Change My Masturbation Technique?

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 13:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am so frustrated. I am 19 yrs old and can only orgasm the way i did as a child.

I am used to hump on something (a towel) lying face-down. I recently got a boyfriend, and we started having sex 3 months ago. I can't orgasm from the penis inside of me, and i can't orgasm when he fingers me and touches my clit, because I'm used to laying face down humping on something. I would like to get an orgasm laying on my back touching my clit, like you did on the NRK show. I have tried this for 2 months but it never works. Is it too late for me to change my pattern? This is almost making me depressed.

What should i do? Should i tell my bf? I was thinking about buying a vibrator and an orgasm cream, but in a few days i am starting at a school where I will be for a year and where i have to share room with another person, so i dont know if it will be for any use..

I hope to hear from you and I would be so thankful because this is a big problem to me.


Dear A,

It's never too late to learn a different technique for any activity. It's just a matter of practicing like a dancer in front of a mirror or an artist at her easel. After 30 minutes or so, you can end with "old faithful" and have an orgasm. But practice you must.

Patience is a virtue so few have. Try to develop patience when it comes to your sexlife. There are so many delightful years ahead to keep learning and practicing.

Be happy. Have fun!

Dr Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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It is a journey. I was you 4

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 22:34
helen b (not verified)

It is a journey.
I was you 4 years ago. At 34 I finally experienced an orgasm with a vibrator, I could never orgasm another way other than humping something. That doesn’t allow for good partner sex.
I discovered Dodson at 34 and started using her suggestions.
After some attempts using a vibrator and some porn I orgasmed. I was so giddy. I continued on my own moving to a bullet to start off with and finishing with the magic wand. The first time I came with the wand I squirted.
My next hurdle was to begin masturbating with my boyfriend no sex, I was learning to not be ashamed of my body. It worked all along I just didn’t know it or listen to my body’s pleasure signals. I was so happy after I came in front of him and then I began to cry because of all the shame I have felt my whole life lifted and I wondered why I let the past hold me captive for so long.
A year later I orgasmed using just my hand. It takes a little more longer to do it that way so I stick to my wand.
About 6 months later I was able to orgasm during sex, he was laying on his side and I was on my back with my legs over his hips as he pumped I had room to use my wand. Amazing!
He usually comes before me though he tries not to, but if he does he uses a glass dildo that has bumps on it while I use my vibrator and he uses his tongue on my right nipple. Talk about orgasms and multiple ones that leave me shaking!
I was with my boyfriend for 3 years before I could orgasm with him. I never had orgasmed with any of my partners, and he was a dickhead too. So it had nothing to do with him really, it was me learning my body, feeling comfortable with myself and letting shame go.
He changed and now he’s my husband

So it’s a process and 4.5 years later I finally have the sex life i always wanted.
My favorite vibrator to start off with or use when I’m alone is the “satisfier”, the dildo reaches a spot inside that gives the mind blowing orgasm while using the wand.
I get my toys from because they have a full return policy if you don’t like the product. I don’t know any other company that does that. When you are first learning what you like and don’t like you don’t want to end up spending money on something that sits in a drawer.
It’s a journey and it takes time. So learn you and then involve your partner.
Best wishes!