It was an Experience Beyond Words

Sun, 08/06/2017 - 19:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I was a complete mess heading into the Bodysex retreat. Chasing an active toddler while taking calls and organizing details was a huge challenge. I barely make it through the day as it is so the extra work hurt.

With everything going on, I forgot that I'd popped my diaphragm in with the hope of some Sunday night sex (that never happened). It sat in my body for two weeks...through a period. I was nauseous, fevorish and felt awful but I thought it was the 95 degree days running me down. It was totally toxic shock but I didn't recognize the symptoms. It wasn't until I was packing for the retreat that I realized my diaphragm was still in. Squatting in the shower with the hot water cascading over my body, I was finally able to pull it out. I'm not going to describe what came out but I felt better instanteously. It's in these moments that I realize how much I have on my plate.

The icing on the cake was the intense heat in nyc. My animal was on high alert. I don't remember it ever being this hot - and it isn't just in my head. According to Popular Science, it is the hottest summer on record. If you follow my blog, you know that I had a complete climate change melt down. Toxic shock...searing heat...work overload...it wasn't how I envisioned the last few days before the retreat.

As we began our drive upstate, I felt the beginning of a release although there was still a tightness in my pelvic floor. I bumped into one of our Bodysex leaders at the final rest stop before Menla, texted Kylie and felt more at ease with her response. We were all making our pilgrimage to the mountain. I needed sisterhood. Knowing that I'd be spending several days with women committed to certification and carrying Bodysex forward lightened my spirits.

The grounds at Menla are perfection. You almost can't believe that you're only 3 hours from Manhattan because it's so serene, green, lush. The air was so clean and soothing. Add organic food, a world class spa, picturesque vistas, and 50 orgasmic women - and it's heaven.

I had one of the most profound experiences in my life during Barbara Carrellas's circle - yes, I had an energy orgasm. We were all lying down on our backs, breathing, releasing sound, listening to the most stimulating music as Barbara guided us. My hands began to tingle. The energy passed to my feet and ran up my legs past my core and to my lips....my lips went numb. I pulled the energy with my hands up to the top of my head then back to my pelvis. The release I felt was incredible. Betty was lying next to me and I slid my hand in hers, squeezed it, and said, "I miss you, Dodson". She squeezed my hand back, smiled and said, "I love you, Ross".

The healing was so complete. Imagine moving from this circle to erotic recess. The sights...the sounds...the giggles...the tears...no words can describe this sort of experience. We were all together, grounded in self love and pleasure present to celebrate the life of a woman who'd changed our lives, the lives of womankind.

Each day was more profound. The lectures, the discussions, the bon fires (and some amazing symbian action) happened in this beautiful oasis in the mountains. It felt like heaven on earth and we didn't want it to end. I was inspired...I felt hopeful. Ultimately, I do believe that women can save the planet...if they can harness their sexual energy for themselves and for humankind. We are powerful.

I could write a book about the retreat. There is no end. We brought up a piece of Betty's art to place on the stage - a piece she drew when she became a Bodysex teacher. It came back to us from the estate of one of Betty's dear friends who bought it decades earlier (if she hadn't had it framed it would have been lost. It's just a drawing on brown wrapping paper). When I saw it, I knew that we had to make prints for the women attending the retreat. There wasn't enough time or enough money but I got it done and they are spectacular.

It's a self-portrait.

One of the woman snapped this picture of Betty after erotic recess. If you look close, you can see Betty's magic wand raised in the air in celebration.

It was an experience beyond words. It was love in its purest form. Betty and I still can't believe it happened. Every moment was perfection. The memories wash over us in waves. There is so much beauty in unbridled female energy.

Thank you to all the women who joined us and to Betty Dodson for being so fucking amazing. Happy 90th Birthday (two years early).

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Changing Circumstances and Secure Bonds?

Mon, 08/07/2017 - 12:04
??? feminist indignation ??? (not verified)

Dear Betty and Carlin,

It was a pleasure to see both of you on the video (http://dodsonandross.com/videopodcast/bodysex-summit) so happy and connected after the Bodysex retreat. What ever had been going on with you and between you was evident far beyond the few lines you shared in “Bodysex Builds Compassion” (http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin-ross/2017/08/it-was-experience-bey...): “She's never wanted to read all day or pudder around like she does now. I've felt responsible because I can't be available for her like I used to…”, We've fought...argued...walked away...sat back down again...and agreed but this past weekend was different. It felt like we had broken through something, transcended to a place of understanding and deeper commitment…. Betty wants to retire. I want to take a brief sabbatical.”

In life things do not stay the same. Rejoicing in the possibility that what bonds you two together and this internet site is realization of the connection between your neurology not the compatibility of your circumstances. It seems from the distance of a reader that it is Carlin’s transformation to parenthood not Betty’s creeping ageing that has most dramatically changed the circumstances. What we as readers refreshingly may be seeing is those demands of changing circumstances by definition change the relationship but that does not mean the changed circumstance also leads to the divorce of the bonds.

When I was young my experience was with ditzy mothers of my friends and I used to think it was because they were adult woman. Later I noticed these women became grounded and sensible and I thought the ditzyness was an age phase. It was only with my own children I realized ditzyness was a factor of the circumstance, ‘small children’, not being, age or gender. Loved your diaphragm story! And it became clear circumstances need not disrupt but can lead to deeper bonds with others and better understanding of self and them.

It was pleasing to see the smiles on your faces in the video. I took this to mean even though the your circumstances are changing there is a recognition that the relationship the work you do together is to a large degree circumstance dependent but the bond that makes the connection possible endures and transcends the circumstances of the relationship.

To me that is what life everlasting means. It is how Carlin can have her work with Betty, a child, a husband and have bonds with them all despite the circumstances. It means that Betty stays bonded, present with Carlin in her retirement twilight and beyond regardless of circumstance. What is dangerous to bonded connection and why people pull away is they equate changed circumstances with unreliable bonds. In realty bonds can remain stable and supportive in spite of all life’s changed circumstances from birth to life eternal.

What I think I saw and wanted to check with you to see if the joy was the realization that your bonds within and between you can remain regardless of how circumstances change?

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