The Fetishette: Storytelling & Adult Sex Play

Fri, 12/24/2010 - 08:09
Submitted by Anonymous

The Fetishette is a series of articles and essays that provide insight into the type of work I do. You may also learn a thing or two, which isn’t so bad, is it?

Storytelling and adult sex play: The two go together quite well, actually. I would say that if sex was a song then storytelling would play bass guitar. It goes unnoticed but it very much carries the soul of the tune, while the drums are the heart, etc.

In my adult play sessions, it’s my responsibility to string the story along and carry us through from the beginning of a scene to its ending. And don’t let porn fool you – all sexual fantasies have a story.

Story doesn’t necessarily need structure. And backstories don’t always unfold in the sexual fantasy itself. For the fetishist, pervert, or most who just like to sexually fantasize, what makes these fantasies so compelling and erotic are indefinable qualities, thoughts unspoken and roles that were never considered sexual.

Depending on the fetishes or interests, the stories are either inherently true and realistic to the fetishist/fantasizer or are rich with fantastic thoughts and unlimited possibilities. The real basis for these fantasies might be measured in one moment or over an extended period of time. It can even be a moment revisited through sporadic events during a person’s lifetime. It can truly be a never ending story, an alternate reality that exists in the fetishist’s heart and in his head.

Of course, therein lies the life of a pervert. Two lives, in fact. The glossy surface they must present to the rest of the world to let them know that is not asylum-worthy material. Indeed you are an upstanding citizen and have no intentions of harming someone for our your own selfish or self-destructive purposes. But your alternate life doesn’t require the glossy case. You don’t have to throw it away either; sometimes our social veneer is used to fuel the taboo dynamics that temper our desire.

Characters come in sets of two as well. There are the fetishist’s characters, people who play important roles in their fantasy/story. Then there are the real people in that person’s life who actively fill these roles. For example, a young man is coming to terms with his longtime fascination for shoes and women’s pantyhose. He may have felt this way ever since he was a young child, when confronted with his neighbor’s beautiful long legs, her notable shoes and her thick tight stockings. Here, the character is every physical, emotional, and mental quality that the neighbor embodies, qualities that switched a light on inside of him. For some of us it might just be her personality – the way she may have commanded you to get her a drink of water from the tap, or how she speaks to your mom about her deadbeat husband and what little difference men make in her world. Maybe she came off as someone who was mentally sound enough to understand your vulnerabilities, perhaps pointing out laughable flaws to take the piss out of you.

Perhaps a bit of degradation? Or feminization? Of course, not every woman in fetish fantasies are ultimately dominant (although I do have a firm belief that she does possess power in these situations, allotting control as she sees fit). So another attraction for this young man is the neighbor’s physical appeal. She may have very nice large feet. Or she is sitting in a way that accentuates her stockings and shoes. Of course, there are the window dressings too, like her breast size and hair. The value placed on these qualities is up to the fetishist, but normally it’s equal to or lesser than the value of the fetish and how authentically they can replicate the fantasy.

So what about the real neighbor, the one who has no idea how strong of a hold she has over our young submissive male? Well, she might and that’s her intention. But, this leads me to another point about the double lives theory: There are two types of authentic types in this situation, those who are replacing the original character and the character herself, who is either self-proclaimed in her role or can also be completely unaware of her hold over the fetishist.

Let’s say that years have passed and the man has grown up and moved out of the home. The neighbor’s gotten older or has moved. Maybe she remains a close friend to the family but the neighbor as her authentic self is no longer as desirable as her character, or the qualities she embodies or used to embody. A fetishist could feel the urge to see someone play this character and fulfill this role for him. That’s how the story is shared.

There’s also the likelihood that the neighbor knows the type of power she and her legs hold over the young man. And they may engage in a dynamic that satisfies both of their roles. Here the authentic character brings both fantasy and reality together, like a dream and a nightmare. And it can be a nightmare because who wants to make the rational and responsible decision to create boundaries? Fantasy is limitless and lawless by nature, while reality relies on some sort of safety net.

Indeed, finding the storyline to your own sexual exploration isn’t so necessary if you allow yourself some openness…

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This is so good; best

Fri, 12/24/2010 - 10:08
Princess (not verified)

This is so good; best explanation of fantasy i've read. It allows people to shake off the shame and understand why they have "strange" needs.  Even better, I think it can educate the unassuming partner to be more comfortable with the  puzzling and often embarrassing proclivities of her partner's sexuality.
I'm having difficulty with the pronouns but the science says that it is predominently males who have fetishes and paraphilias.
Thanks for helping me do my job.
And it is "storytelling" to the Max.