Maximize Your Orgasm: A Two-Part Tutorial for Women

Tue, 02/08/2011 - 09:47
Submitted by Anonymous

According to statistics, anywhere from 10 to 26% of women (depending on who you read) are not orgasmic at all, and over 60% of women who are orgasmic aren't happy with how often it occurs.

I put together this two part primer to provide some assistance for women experiencing this issue. These steps should help a woman both intensify her orgasm and increase the likelihood of having one.

Train Your PC Muscles

Step 1. Strong orgasms begin with strong muscles. Most people have heard of Kegel exercises but may be confused about how to perform them correctly.

The pubococcygeus muscles are the muscles that support your pelvic anatomy and surround your urethra, vagina and anus. Strengthening them can both increase the intensity of your orgasms and your ability to have more than one.

To identify your PC muscle simple stop your urine flow the next time you go to the bathroom. The muscles that you squeeze to do this are the PC muscles. Essentially, squeezing these muscles several times a day is one way to perform Kegels.

However, it is far better to include some form of vaginal resistance device - like Betty's vaginal barbell. Squeeze the PC muscles for 10 seconds with a resistance device inside the vagina - pulling up with the vagina and then releasing completely for 10 seconds. It is as important to fully relax the muscles as it is to squeeze them tightly.

I would recommend starting without a device (if you are never done Kegels before) and doing these exercises in sets like any other work out (i.e., 3 sets of 10 to 20 reps each). Work up to two times a week for 20 minutes with a resistance device.

There are many benefits to these exercises, including (their original purpose) of preventing or reversing incontinence. Plus, Kegels increase blood flow to the pelvic area and can help rid the body of toxins.

 Quality "Me" Time

Step 2. Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate. I can't say this enough, if  you don't know your body, your lover damn sure won't. In Shere Hite's study of 3,000 plus women, she found that the majority of women who were not orgasmic had never masturbated. In fact, lack of orgasm was more than five times more common in women without a masturbation history.  Directed masturbation training is typically how sex therapists treat such women. Sex therapists usually give their non-orgasmic clients a series of masturbation exercises to help them gain self-awareness.

There are some women who have masturbated but still haven't learned how to come yet. Masturbation is still important, and many times these women just haven't figured out what works for them yet.

In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, Taoist Mantak Chia and physician Rachel Carlton Abrams recommend doing body exploration exercises that utilize what tantric teachers refer to as the seven different types of touch (touch from light as a feather to intense enough to draw blood). Usually, these exercises are done alone to increase self-awareness.

To do the exercises, try varying how you touch yourself. You can try scratching, stroking biting on different pars of your body starting with the top of your head and working your way down to your toes. The point is to get to know what feels exciting to you. You can use feathers, ice, cold-pressed oil, and silky material to enhance your sensuality. Chia and Abrams recommend doing the body exploration exercise for at least 20 minutes.

Diversify Your Options

Step 3. Some women are used to doing the same things over and over again when they masturbate or have sex. It is important to try new techniques that incorporate your entire sex organ. According to Rebecca Chalker, author of The Clitoral Truth, the clitoris consists of 18 parts, many of which are internal. When you stroke along the labia or around the vaginal opening, you are actually stimulating parts of the internal clitoris.

When most women masturbate, they stimulate the area around the clitoral glans (the tiny button-shaped organ that is the most visible part of the clitoris) and not always the organ itself. It is often too sensitive to be touched directly. Some experts claim that the
most sensitive (and supposedly most arousing) part of the clitoris is the upper, left quadrant of the glans. Personally, I find my right side is more sensitive. So, everyone is different. It is important to figure out what works for you.

Some women enjoy stimulation of the labia, the perineum (the space between the vagina and the anus), the anterior fornix (AFE zone) a sensitive area on the upper wall of the vagina right before the cervix. And of course, let's not forget the famous G-spot, which is located one to two inches in the vagina, just past the pubic bone. The G-spot can be vibrated, massaged, pressed rhythmically, and tapped.

All of these spots can be and are arousing to different women. No two women are alike in their responses. So, what works for your best friend might not work for you. That's why it is so important to learn your body on your own. Unfortunately, if you are looking for magic bullet, that doesn't exist. There is no paint by numbers approach to the female orgasm.

For some women, the only thing that really works is a vibrator. There is nothing wrong with these women; they just have a higher threshold for orgasm than others. An orgasm is after all a reflex, much like a sneeze. It takes a certain amount of stimulation for the nerves to fire. And we all differ as to how much and what type of stimulation it takes to trigger this reflex.

I also recommend trying different vibrators. The first vibrator I tried was a electric model that was just too strong for me. It took me years to find one that I really liked. A small bullet, pocket rocket or the Hitachi Magic Wand which is widely regarded as the "Cadillac of vibrators".

The Rock and Roll Orgasm

Step 4. The mother of masturbation Betty Dodson is responsible for this technique, which involves learning to tense and relax your muscles in a rhythmic fashion. In order to increase their arousal, many women fall into the habit of holding their breath and tensing their muscles. In some cases, this can help them reach the plateau stage of sexual arousal (the stage right before orgasm) easier. However, it can also make it harder to get aroused, or lead to a weaker orgasm.

Betty recommends breathing deeply and rocking the pelvis forward on the exhale and back on the inhale. At the same time, squeezing your (now newly toned) PC muscles. She calls this the "fucking motion" and claims it can lead to a bigger orgasm. This can be done with or without a partner.

From my own personal experience, I can say that learning to breathe deeper and dropping some (but not all) of  my muscle tension has intensified my response and made it easier to continue and have more orgasms. Betty has had two interesting videos over the last two weeks where her partner Carlin Ross tried to learn the "rock and roll"  technique. Carlin said that it took her longer to get there, but it was a much stronger orgasm.

The preceding steps are some basic techniques that a woman can use to develop her orgasmic potential. Next, we will go into some steps that she can do alone and with a partner that can enhance her ability to have a bigger orgasm, or to have one at all.