open relationship

How Do I Explore the Bi Side of Myself/Let Him Explore the Bi Side of Himself?

Wed, 05/09/2018 - 07:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a 27 year old biquestioning woman who is dating a wonderful 22 year old bi Man. Previously for him, all of his relationships have been with other gay men, and he has presented to most people as a gay man. When he started dating me, it was the first "cishet" relationship he'd ever had, but we've made it work through lots of communication and we both feel quite strongly towards each other.

Recently he asked me about potentially starting an open relationship, as he said that there were "aspects of the gay world [he] wants to explore." Additionally, he knows that I am questioning my bi status and how that works with my commitment to him, and is almost encouraging me to explore that as well, within our relationship.

Same BF Since 19. Love Him But Want to Try Sex With Someone Else

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 09:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty (& Carlin),

I've been watching your YT videos off and on since I was a teenager! Thank you so much for posting them. I have a question I hope you can help me with.

Should We Have Sex as a Couple Then Start to "Mix"?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 09:19
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I decided to find a couple to have sex with (let's call him) my sex friend and me. Both of us are pretty excited, but I have some doubts...do you think we could start with having sex as a couple and the couple does the same... in terms of getting comfortable ... and maybe then start to "mix"? or is it a weird idea?

Thank you
(BTW - thanks to you I convinced at least one man that a feminist is man´s best friend :) )

Dear E,

There is nothing wrong or weird about your idea of two couples having sex in the same room as a way to later swap partners. When I was in my twenties, my boyfriend and I ended up in a room that we had to share with another couple. During the night we all became aware that each couple was having sex in the darkened room.

Who Would Have Thought That My Husband Would Reunite Us

Thu, 12/18/2014 - 08:40
Submitted by Anonymous

We had the opportunity to reunite with the love of my life 20 years ago. I'd been torn from him by conflicts with an old fashioned jealous lover then… when I'd told him happily - and naively - of my discovery.

I'd some vague hope to refresh the memories of my cock sinking in under the weight of my lust and the magnetism of his desire into his ass again.

Who would have thought that my husband would be the one to reunite us, again with lust, multiplied by two, but based again with the same attraction.

Our Asian friend arrived, dressed in black. A gossamer light down jacket, silk scarf.

Why Have Sex with Someone Else?

Wed, 09/17/2014 - 09:33
Submitted by Anonymous

Our working hypothesis: Since what we do in a triple depends on the men we have to work with, let’s be ready to do everything every which way now we'll know better what works - and what doesn’t - for us.

Before doing anything discard all the stereotypes: that it’s supposed to hurt, that that the pain is worth the pleasure, that it only hurts a little while. Those lessons came from people who were fucked poorly.

We usually turn down someone who’s never been fucked and wants to try it. Try it? Are we kidding here? This person obviously has no clue to how key fucking and being fucked are to pleasuring. To have a great fuck you have to yearn for it, yell for it - not "try it."

I Am Beginning to See My Wife Through the Perceptions of Another

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:13
Submitted by Edgerman58

After 30+ years of marital fidelity, my wife got bored with our sex life. It's as simple as that.

It didn't have anything to do with not "loving" me any more, either. It was the 30 years of the daily routine, that any married couple goes through! Over the years, two people get to know one another so well, that nothing about that person surprises them any longer. They get to the point where they can almost guess what the other is about to say about nearly everything.

Yes, there can be a certain degree of comfort in that, but, familiarity can also blind a person.

What Does "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Mean in Open Relationships?

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 09:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty-

I'm wondering what exactly is meant by "Don't Ask Don't Tell". Is it that the one partner in the couple knows that the other is seeing someone else, and just doesn't want to know details? Or is it that the partner literally has no idea that the other is seeing someone else?

I'm currently in a situation - the third party to a DADT relationship. However, I've been told that whenever my partner's partner has discovered her side pieces, there is hell to pay. Is this normal? How do third parties deal with the lack of control over their own schedules and the possibility of getting their asses kicked by an angry, surprised significant other? I really like this person - should I just go with it and not worry?

Dear A,

To Be Or Not To Be Monogamous

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 08:02
Submitted by Lawrence Lanoff

I’m writing this post to two friends who are at life crossroads. My first friend is a 69 year old man who recently met a woman whom he deeply loves. The problem he has is that he feels very “naturally” polyamorous. He wants occasional sex with other people. She, on the other hand wants to “go deep” with one person for the rest of her life. She wants “to discover the depth that’s possible with a lifetime of monogamy.”

Open Relationships Have Always Added to Our Life

Thu, 02/28/2013 - 09:52
Submitted by Lawrence Lanoff

I’m currently sitting at a restaurant near The Pentagon writing this blog. I just had the most amazing discussion with an ultra conservative, right wing, Born Again Christian, fundamentalist Special Ops, military guy (that’s how he described himself). He sat at the table next to me at dinner and began chatting about 9/11. We discussed where we each were at the time.

He asked what my background was, where I’m from, and was asking about my relationship. I’ll explain more about that in a minute. But this is where it get’s interesting. My girlfriend and I have been in an open relationship since our relationship began, some 5 + years ago.

How Do We Go About "Swinging"?

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 09:29
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi there,

I really like your style, really! Ok here is the issue. My boyfriend and I have done a bit of group sex like threesomes a couple times. O.K. so its been fun for both of us. But, the feeling is that its been like a real good appetizer and going for the main course is going to be real swinging and swapping.

Sooo, two thoughts/questions are dominating our thinking. The first one: is a long term relationship dangerous? I mean I like the idea of having a regular couple, not just one time flings, wouldn't this be better?

The second question is age, we are mid 20's, I really like the idea of swinging with older people 40's or 50's, but then I think a turn on is one thing, but you have to also be social. Is too much age diffrence a problem?

Threesomes & Moresomes: The Video Edition

Fri, 08/14/2009 - 16:49
Submitted by Betty and Carlin

Very few women at the sex parties were having orgasms. After the men were petered out, the women would all end up in Betty's bedroom playing with vibrators. That got Betty thinking about Bodysex workshops. Something had to change...

How Do You Get Over the Guilt of Infidelity?

Betty Dodson's picture
Wed, 07/08/2009 - 11:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty and Carlin,

First of all, let me say you two women are so incredibly beautiful and inspiring. I have just discovered your podcasts, and they are so funny, and i cannot help cracking up when you do. Stunning people.

You both speak about having sex outside a relationship as healthy, as i understand it, and that the idea of monogamy is a moral social construct. My question is about how one can overcome this feeling of extra-marrital affair as being wrong.

How Can I Learn NOT To Be Sexually Jealous?

Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 05/12/2009 - 16:44
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I'm a 46 year old female. Divorced for about 3 years. Left a 22-year marriage largely due to my being unsatisfied with the sex and I went outside of our relationship to be with other men (and women). Between partners before marriage, during and now after, I've had hundreds. I usually can orgasm, but it has been challenging...until I met the man I am currently seeing. He has been trained in Tantra and I am receiving the benefits. I am now having "hands-free" orgasms at the drop of the hat (well not quite, but close - while brushing my teeth, having my dress unzipped, gazing). So what's the problem? I am getting really attached to him and he has made it very clear that he doesn't want to be monogamous.

How Do We Seduce as a Couple?

Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 04/07/2009 - 15:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

My man and I have wanted to branch out into threesomes with another female for a long time now. We have great sex and are not at all shy with each other... problem is, we're both a little shy when it comes to trying to find another female to join us. I don't even know where to begin... I know the internet can be a good resource for shy people and I have tried it some, but most women seemed turned off by the idea of joining a couple and I can never get any to agree to meet us. I have also tried to find women who might be interested on my own, but again most seemed turned off if I ever even mention the idea of letting my boyfriend watch or join.

Any ideas on how we might be able to meet women who would be interested in being our third? Places to go, lines to use?

Want Boyfriend to Have Same Room Sex

Betty Dodson's picture
Sun, 03/29/2009 - 15:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty/Carlin,

My boyfriend and I are both nudists in our 20's, we go around the house naked all the time, go to nudist swims, nudist resorts, nude beaches and socialize in the nude at friends homes etc. Several of our nudists friends like to play with each other, fuck or masturbate in front of us when we are having a naked visit. I think this is great! I enjoy watching them do this in the open and want to do the same in front of them. I usually end up only masturbating. He'll play with my cunt a bit with his hand and fondle my tits however doesn't seem to get into it. Is there anything I can do or say to get him to open up? Normally he is all over me. Is fucking/masturbating in front of others unusual and I'm out of whack?