sexual abuse

From Trauma to Orgasms

Sun, 12/31/2017 - 16:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Every Woman on the Planet Has Been Sexually Traumatized.

At best, we've been objectified, demeaned, shamed, guilted, and manipulated into believing that we don't deserve pleasure on our own terms. At worst, we've been groped, assaulted, raped and blamed for male lust. Betty and I have traveled the globe and there isn't a society or culture where women have true sexual equality. The clitoris is ignored. The female model of sexual response isn't even part of the discussion. Procreate sex reigns supreme. Female chastity and male dominance are the norm and, sadly, the rape culture persists.

Taking Your Power Back One Moment At a Time

Mon, 06/13/2016 - 07:38
Submitted by Lisa Kan

I sat in the courtroom with my heart pounding. I had been fidgeting for hours. When my name was called I felt like I might vomit, or pass out, or both.

It started out as a day of jury duty. No big deal. I sat down in the jury room and saw that I had been quoted in Cosmopolitan online. I was flying as I reposted the article with all the excitement of a week starting out perfectly right.

They called my name to go to department 10 on the 7th floor. I’ve gone through the process of jury selection before. It’s long and tedious so I smuggled in a book for the really slow parts. I was only half paying attention until they read the charges.

The people of the state of California vs. X person, charged with lewd acts upon a child.

Oh. Fuck.

Why I Want to Set The World on Fire About Sex

Mon, 05/09/2016 - 15:15
Submitted by Rebekah Dyana

“If women expressed their vulnerability more we could empower each other and the implications of this are no less than revolutionary.”

Paraphrased from a quote by Willow Allen, resident of Canada

I am an incest survivor. More than that, I am now a thriver. However the road getting to here has been circuitous and rock-strewn.

I am one among throngs of many. I did not know this for a long time. I suffered alone. Because of eventually having the knowledge that I am not alone, I have been on the search much of my life to find an action I could take to help the world and its people be rid of this injustice and the pain it causes for all involved.

It Set Me on a Path to Betty Dodson's Door

Tue, 12/02/2014 - 10:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Over the past 8 years, we've received numerous requests to address sexual abuse here on D&R.

Betty's position is that we've all been abused by the culture by the lack of sex education and the blatant misinformation foistered on teens. I understand why she prefers to side-step the issue completely and focus on pleasure - she wants to create a positive experience where we celebrate human sexuality. She's sick of the fear mongering and that young girls are groomed to be pleasers and victims. Betty wants us to be warriors. I get it.

You Should Address Sexual Abuse

Tue, 06/18/2013 - 08:15
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I love this website but am greatly saddened by a glaring oversight regarding sexual abuse. It isn’t even among the “topics” section... I understand it’s an uncomfortable, painful topic that might seem rather “anticlimactic” (couldn’t resist!) to the whole discussion on orgasms. Still, we need to start realizing that sexual abuse, however long ago incident(s) might have occurred, they have a profound. PROFOUND! effect on our psychological well being, and as such can have incredibly far reaching affects on our general health - mentally, physically, and yes, even spiritually.

Why Did You Stay/ Go Back?

Mon, 07/02/2012 - 20:29
Submitted by Anonymous

This questions is the first on anyones lips when a woman stays in a domestic violence situation or returns to one. It's a fair question but it is often loaded with judgment and the undertone is "you deserve what you get because staying or going back is stupid".

I have, on countless occasions, heard someone wax lyrical about how they would leave the FIRST time anyone laid a hand on them. Good for you I say. However, this is always followed by a comment along the lines of "if a person doesn't leave the first time their partner hits them then there must be something wrong with them/ it's their fault".